haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
