It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
