I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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