and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
