Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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