my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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