I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I love having hate sex.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
