so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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