forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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