I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
