No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize