Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
honey bunches of taint.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
