I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
