I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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