VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
