a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
