...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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