Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
