I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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