Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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