You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
