hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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