im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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