Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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