The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
