walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
