we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
