and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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