I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
