New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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