Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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