Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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