so that wasnt chicken after all
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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