I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
