It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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