My Higher Power is John Stamos
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Slut skills are useful in every country.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
