"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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