There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
