bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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