i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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