I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize