erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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