this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
