Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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