I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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