they need to just BURY HIM!
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
My life is pants optional.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
