How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
