i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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