I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
