I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
