if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
look no pants
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
This baby is an asshole
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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