I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
