Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
