I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Two words: blizzard sex
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize