I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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