Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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