I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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