I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
