i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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