there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
