I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
