Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
