This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
