I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
