He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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