How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
