How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
