My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
