sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
