I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
