They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
What drink are we having for lunch?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
