i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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