Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
