my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
