This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
